If looks could Kill

Have you ever looked at someone and thought "Why are we friends again?" Its that moment when they are complaining about something and your zoned out, pretending to care, when really all you can think about is how much your feet hurt, and whether or not you should eat Pizza or a Salad for lunch. Healthy? Not Healthy? And then they ask you a question, one which you dont have the answer too because you didn't hear the question in the first place. You can either pretend you were and try to answer with the safe answers like "I dont know" or, "Yes" "No" Or just play dumb.. "Huh? Ask me that again?" Its horrible the way we pretend to care when we really dont.
OR.
Or..:) You have the thought of "I dont know why were friends...i dont actually like you." The type of people who are always nice to you, always say great things about you when your around, and compliment your hair, your shoes, or your career. But at the end of the conversation you walk away irritated and with a cramp in your lip because you held a smile for too long. We all have them in our lives, and sometimes, we are those people. There was always that one girl in high school who loved everyone and was just oh so "sweet" but everyone else hated her. Sometimes you find yourself being that girl. The one who feels like she is surrounded by idiots, and cant stand to be mean to them, because its just not nice. When in the end, they hate you, you hate them and move to Vermont and feed cows.
Too dramatic? Maybe, maybe not.
But my point is that we all have those people that we just dont like. But we are nice, and civil to them. Invite them out when you go out, invite them to birthday and holiday celebrations. But secretly talk about them behind bathroom doors, and under your breath at the drink table.
We say its just "high school" but we do it and will continue to do it the rest of our lives. Why?
I have no idea. If anyone has an answer other than "Were Human" Or, "Its in our nature to be mean"..please excuse yourself now if you thought those answers.. But if anyone has a reason to why we do this, please come forth.
Why are we so fake to the people we hate the most. Yeah the saying goes "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" But the reason they are your so called 'enemy' is probably because they did something to put them in that status with you. But still, we smile and wave as if they are our favorite people in the world. And when we walk away we turn our nose's up and scoff with a friend. Meanwhile they are doing the same exact thing to you. I hear people say they miss high school, but i dont think we ever miss high school, just knowing that if we were in high school, we could push her into a vending machine and pull her hair.. Not like i would know.. But now we just smile, and pretend we care what goes on with them.

This was just my random, and slightly humorous epiphany. :) Girls can be so evil, good thing Ive got a good batch of friends to keep me sane :)

But my question: The things you had the guts to do in High School, but wouldn't dare to do now. I know we all have them :)
A few of mine to start:
- Wear a plaid skirt and combat boots..some things just shouldn't be repeated.. ever.
-Wear baby blue pleather
-Throw milk at the slutty girl who steals your boyfriend..and not get caught;)
-Help spread the rumor that someone has a gun... Be thankful you didn't go to my school, oh and im a good person now ;)
-Physically hit another female...my Lawyer advises against commenting.
-Oh and last but certainly not least... *Insert Drum-Roll Here*- Outline your entire eye socket with eyeliner..on purpose. & No it was not Halloween, or the Day of the Dead. Thank God for Vogue.

Off to bed:)

Fat Kid Camp

Beauty is something ive actually been thinking alot about lately. Worrying about the need to get new makeup, and stressing over how much its going to cost to get my hair done. Making schedules to work out more, and looking for salads on the menu instead of steak's. Now im all for being healthy and spending money on good products, but at the same time im not.

I have always wanted the perfect beach bod. Skinny, tone and the perfect bathing suit to highlight the "good area's". I have never really achieved that. But this past year i think Ive achieved something greater than skin tight abs and a butt you can bounce quarters off of.
I achieved self-worth. I realized how much i was worth and what i could do. And that no matter if i have love handles and split ends, i still have worth and im still beautiful. No matter what i weigh. If as a woman, you can see the beauty in yourself, and that you are beautiful, no waistline or scale can tell you otherwise. Now im not like rooting that being obese or overweight is okay, people should take care of their bodies.

But i would like to say that im okay with curves, no i dont have the perfect body and the perfect proportions, but im working at bettering myself, and if somewhere down the road you can bounce quarters off my butt, well i probably would be pretty excited. But if i never achieve the Beyonce status, ill be perfectly fine too.
If your "man" is looking for perfection tell him to buy a barbie. You know your in good hands when a man can look at your curves, in my case pancake butt, and all you imperfections and pick you over a runway model, you've got a winner. Because people dont want fake, and unachievable beauty. They want something real, something that they can feel and not just want.

This was my rant about beauty, because its been bothering me some. And yes i gained 7 pounds, and guess what? I still look freaking hott. Just thought you  should know that, because the fact is that im not ashamed of that. I love my body, and im only going to work towards making it better. So if you think im crazy for putting how much weight ive gained, then you obviously dont have hips.