Storms are very predictable, the clouds get dark, the rain starts, thunder , lightning. Then follows the sunrise the morning after. But no matter how violent and scary the storm may seem, you can always count on the morning, and a quiet after-storm peace to follow. In relationships, not so much.
They are unpredictable, when storms hit you never know when you'll see the morning light. Or if the tornado will just take you away like Dorothy. Sending you to a new world of, well, most likely single-ness. Storms come and go, some more violent than others, some light and quick. Like that quick 30 minute rain shower right as you pull up to the beach that you just have to wait out. Then you have those storms in relationship that no matter how long you seem to wait, the skies never clear, and you end up going back home, disappointed, pale, and with a load of crap in your trunk.
It seems to be the question we always ask in relationship. Can we weather the store? Or will we pack up early and go home?
Most of the time you have to live it and learn it. If you live through it, you can tell the scary storm stories. If you don't, well, you still tell the scary storm stories, just without a happy ending, and normally your homeless, and broke. Speaking in terms of a real storm tragedy, of course. Not relationships. ;)
But when your storms do come, youve gotta hold on to that umbrella, hold you towel tight and barely make it out alive. Because once it clears, you realize youve got got a whole beach to explore, and a whole lot of fish in the sea :)
Monday, June 4, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
If happy ever after did exsist
Perfection seems to be the new trend now. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect weight, perfect job, perfect car, perfect life, perfect relationship. And everyone seems to get so upset when we cant be perfect. Even though perfection is impossible. Our faces arnt naturally proportional, one foot is always longer than the other, and no matter how hard we try nobody can even reach the perfect body. Your either too skinny, too fat, too fit, too flimsy. Because no matter how hard we try for perfection, someone always has to point out some flaw in us, because we cant handle perfection.
So why do we try so hard for it?
Im tired of reaching for perfection in life, in being the perfect girl.
I will never be perfect in anyway. So im stopping to try and get there. Reality is ill never marry my celebrity crush..or crushes. Ill never be 104 lbs, and my hair will probably never look exactly how i always want it too. My makeup will have smudges, my stomach probably wont ever have rock hard abs, no matter how hard i imagine them there. I will never find the perfect man, or have a perfect relationship.
And i dont really want a perfect life. You dont hear songs about guys falling for perfect women, the best songs are the ones about the girl with the flaw, the quirky trait that makes her mesmerizing. Not the girl who has no problems and no flaws. Because nobody likes perfect people, it makes normal people feel below average. Which is stupid.
And basically, im tired of seeing people throw so much into fitting in to the image, and the trends of today. Im tired of trying to fit into those molds.
Its exhausting. And its killing me.
So from now on, i dont really care what anyone thinks i should do, look like or be. Because im actually going to live my life with flaws. My tattoo on my arm reminds me daily to be free, to not let anyone sway you to doing or being someone you dont want to be or do, just because they think its what it best for you. So now im done letting reality and the world telling me who im supposed to be by the time im 21, im even tired of the stereotypes i see in the Church, making me feel like im behind in life because im not on some different level of my life. Because i dont have everything figured out, im single and not looking for everyone to try and find me a boyfriend, or telling me i need to go to school now because if i wait ill never go.
My life isnt figured out, and im fine with that. Im figuring it out as i live it. Im trying not to judge and mold people into stereotypes based on what i see and think of their life. Because the fact is, that we are all in this together. And if we cant even accept each others flaws, and imperfections in life we will just end up being alone.
I just had some things i needed to get off my chest, and blogging helps. And putting my thoughts into words, because i think too much, and say too little. So im working on that too.
So judge me and think what you want, but im trying my best, and if its not good enough for you, im sorry.
But im done trying to be perfect.
So why do we try so hard for it?
Im tired of reaching for perfection in life, in being the perfect girl.
I will never be perfect in anyway. So im stopping to try and get there. Reality is ill never marry my celebrity crush..or crushes. Ill never be 104 lbs, and my hair will probably never look exactly how i always want it too. My makeup will have smudges, my stomach probably wont ever have rock hard abs, no matter how hard i imagine them there. I will never find the perfect man, or have a perfect relationship.
And i dont really want a perfect life. You dont hear songs about guys falling for perfect women, the best songs are the ones about the girl with the flaw, the quirky trait that makes her mesmerizing. Not the girl who has no problems and no flaws. Because nobody likes perfect people, it makes normal people feel below average. Which is stupid.
And basically, im tired of seeing people throw so much into fitting in to the image, and the trends of today. Im tired of trying to fit into those molds.
Its exhausting. And its killing me.
So from now on, i dont really care what anyone thinks i should do, look like or be. Because im actually going to live my life with flaws. My tattoo on my arm reminds me daily to be free, to not let anyone sway you to doing or being someone you dont want to be or do, just because they think its what it best for you. So now im done letting reality and the world telling me who im supposed to be by the time im 21, im even tired of the stereotypes i see in the Church, making me feel like im behind in life because im not on some different level of my life. Because i dont have everything figured out, im single and not looking for everyone to try and find me a boyfriend, or telling me i need to go to school now because if i wait ill never go.
My life isnt figured out, and im fine with that. Im figuring it out as i live it. Im trying not to judge and mold people into stereotypes based on what i see and think of their life. Because the fact is, that we are all in this together. And if we cant even accept each others flaws, and imperfections in life we will just end up being alone.
I just had some things i needed to get off my chest, and blogging helps. And putting my thoughts into words, because i think too much, and say too little. So im working on that too.
So judge me and think what you want, but im trying my best, and if its not good enough for you, im sorry.
But im done trying to be perfect.
Monday, February 13, 2012
That moment when you feel like a mom.
The Truth is, people don't really know if they are ready for anything until they actually try it. If you fail, you know your not ready, If you succeed, you can take steps forward to what you jumped in too, hoping it wouldn't be a fail and a waste of time. With that being said im a very...irrational person at times. I make decisions without thinking, and do things without caring about the consequences. It bothers some people, i know it does. But its just how i am.
To make a point of that paragraph, i just recently adopted a puppy. More like a child, but he is a handful. And after almost 4 weeks of constant supervision, taking him everywhere i go, dropping wayy to much money on him, and trying to potty train him. But through that all Ive realized many things about being a mom.
One: I think im fine being the mom of a dog for now...and probably for a good bit.. mothering a child can come later in life... when im rich and fabulous;)
Two: Its a lot harder than it looks. Its not all cute, and baby talk. Its cleaning up pee, hand feeding my spoiled puppy, teaching him to to obey, and making sure he doesn't turn into a mean, crazy pooch.
Three: People jump into a lot of things before they are ready.
Responsibility, I believe is something that comes hand in hand with experience. You have to experience things, fail at things to actually learn how to be responsible. I had to adopt a puppy to actually understand what being self-less means, And that children and Husband's are a lot harder to handle than puppies. Responsibility is knowing that your not ready for things and being okay with it. Just because everyone else seems to be doing it, doesn't mean you have to feel bad, or out of place for not doing it. They might think they are ready, but you know your not ready. So i would say that you come out on the better end, but that's just me. Having Duke made me realize that i kinda don't want to be a mom or a wife...yet. And probably not for a good bit. I honestly love my life too much, and me being the only person i have to worry about (Other than Duke of course!) I think we forget just how much we actually love the freedom of not having to answer for anyone other than ourselves, until we actually do have to be responsible for another person, or being.
I guess considering Valentine's Day is tomorrow, i decided to blog this. Because people become Idiot's on valentines day, saying things they can never do, promising the world and love and luxury and all that jazz, but never really wanting the responsibility of what comes with it all. Gag me please!Im soo not a V-day Hater, but the holiday itself is one of those things that ive never really cared for. But i guess this really wasn't about much, just my self-realization that i don't want to live out Fool's Rush In, atm. And that Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and that Ive never really needed a man to tell m how much he loves me on this Holiday...because darling's the truth is...I love myself enough for the two of us;)
And you may think that sounds conceited, but if you've gone through the life i have, you realize you should never care what people think, and that loving yourself is one of the hardest things to do, and once you finally do, you never regret it. And i never will :)
Happy Valentine's Day Babes! Kisses and Hugs from me to you! <3
To make a point of that paragraph, i just recently adopted a puppy. More like a child, but he is a handful. And after almost 4 weeks of constant supervision, taking him everywhere i go, dropping wayy to much money on him, and trying to potty train him. But through that all Ive realized many things about being a mom.
One: I think im fine being the mom of a dog for now...and probably for a good bit.. mothering a child can come later in life... when im rich and fabulous;)
Two: Its a lot harder than it looks. Its not all cute, and baby talk. Its cleaning up pee, hand feeding my spoiled puppy, teaching him to to obey, and making sure he doesn't turn into a mean, crazy pooch.
Three: People jump into a lot of things before they are ready.
Responsibility, I believe is something that comes hand in hand with experience. You have to experience things, fail at things to actually learn how to be responsible. I had to adopt a puppy to actually understand what being self-less means, And that children and Husband's are a lot harder to handle than puppies. Responsibility is knowing that your not ready for things and being okay with it. Just because everyone else seems to be doing it, doesn't mean you have to feel bad, or out of place for not doing it. They might think they are ready, but you know your not ready. So i would say that you come out on the better end, but that's just me. Having Duke made me realize that i kinda don't want to be a mom or a wife...yet. And probably not for a good bit. I honestly love my life too much, and me being the only person i have to worry about (Other than Duke of course!) I think we forget just how much we actually love the freedom of not having to answer for anyone other than ourselves, until we actually do have to be responsible for another person, or being.
I guess considering Valentine's Day is tomorrow, i decided to blog this. Because people become Idiot's on valentines day, saying things they can never do, promising the world and love and luxury and all that jazz, but never really wanting the responsibility of what comes with it all. Gag me please!Im soo not a V-day Hater, but the holiday itself is one of those things that ive never really cared for. But i guess this really wasn't about much, just my self-realization that i don't want to live out Fool's Rush In, atm. And that Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and that Ive never really needed a man to tell m how much he loves me on this Holiday...because darling's the truth is...I love myself enough for the two of us;)
And you may think that sounds conceited, but if you've gone through the life i have, you realize you should never care what people think, and that loving yourself is one of the hardest things to do, and once you finally do, you never regret it. And i never will :)
Happy Valentine's Day Babes! Kisses and Hugs from me to you! <3
Friday, January 13, 2012
Friday, December 23, 2011
Sianara Season's!
So.. My boyfriend has been pestering me about writing a blog about him. Now im normally against such gloating and chest puffing about people in my personal life. Especially those closest to my heart. But being it on the Eve of Christmas, at 2AM, ive decided to go against better judgement, and write a short excerpt about my love.
The Boyfriend means alot to me, in alot of different ways. First and foremost he is my best friend, has been for quite a long time and probably will always be. Second he is the reasoning voice in my head that tells me not to do things potentially dangerous to my heath.. and third he is my significant other, my love, my +1, my boyfriend. :) I wont go telling you our love story, if you really want to know, ask him, its such a long story ;)
But to go on bragging for a small moment, is the one thing that i love so dearly about him. Is that he has never asked me to change who i am. There have been moments when i thought he did, or was trying to, but in the end it was always my best interest in his heart, and never any attempt to change me into someone else. No matter how many crazy, off the wall dreams i have he has never once told me i couldn't do it. Maybe a disapproving glance or laugh of amusement at some of my more, risque and dangerous plans, but never a no. Except on the subject of a nose piercing, which one day i might eventually win him over.
And i know im a very shifting, and changing person. Like all the time. I have a new dream or plan every few months, the same urges and get-away escapes, sometimes dramatic and sometimes not. But no matter what i end up doing at the end of the day, somehow he still finds it in him to kiss my forehead goodnight and try and give me everything i need, and promises that one day he will give me everything i want, not matter how shiny, or how expensive ;) Maybe he didnt say it in those words.. but im sure it was something like that.
Just kidding.. maybe ;) But i guess Ive really said what i wanted to say about him. Its easy to love someone who is willing to change to fit your idea of a perfect relationship, but it takes alot to put up with someone's faults and flaws, and even though they have them and might not like them, they still never ask them to change. And he knows that somewhere deep down that if he ever asked me to change i would, only for him. But more points to him, for never asking me too :)
Well its Christmas Eve, and all is quiet in the house, nothing is stirring not even a mouse. Because my mouse died. Of unknown and suspicious causes.. Oliver and my mother are my main suspects but no-one has caved...yet. Oh and le boyfriend helped me build a little grave for little Dolce. It was so sweet.
Hope your holiday season has been wonderful, and this weekend is white and jolly :) Now off to dreamland to wish for snow, Chanel, and a penthouse in the Upper East Side. Oh Gossip Girl how you fuel my fashion flame. <3
The Boyfriend means alot to me, in alot of different ways. First and foremost he is my best friend, has been for quite a long time and probably will always be. Second he is the reasoning voice in my head that tells me not to do things potentially dangerous to my heath.. and third he is my significant other, my love, my +1, my boyfriend. :) I wont go telling you our love story, if you really want to know, ask him, its such a long story ;)
But to go on bragging for a small moment, is the one thing that i love so dearly about him. Is that he has never asked me to change who i am. There have been moments when i thought he did, or was trying to, but in the end it was always my best interest in his heart, and never any attempt to change me into someone else. No matter how many crazy, off the wall dreams i have he has never once told me i couldn't do it. Maybe a disapproving glance or laugh of amusement at some of my more, risque and dangerous plans, but never a no. Except on the subject of a nose piercing, which one day i might eventually win him over.
And i know im a very shifting, and changing person. Like all the time. I have a new dream or plan every few months, the same urges and get-away escapes, sometimes dramatic and sometimes not. But no matter what i end up doing at the end of the day, somehow he still finds it in him to kiss my forehead goodnight and try and give me everything i need, and promises that one day he will give me everything i want, not matter how shiny, or how expensive ;) Maybe he didnt say it in those words.. but im sure it was something like that.
Just kidding.. maybe ;) But i guess Ive really said what i wanted to say about him. Its easy to love someone who is willing to change to fit your idea of a perfect relationship, but it takes alot to put up with someone's faults and flaws, and even though they have them and might not like them, they still never ask them to change. And he knows that somewhere deep down that if he ever asked me to change i would, only for him. But more points to him, for never asking me too :)
Well its Christmas Eve, and all is quiet in the house, nothing is stirring not even a mouse. Because my mouse died. Of unknown and suspicious causes.. Oliver and my mother are my main suspects but no-one has caved...yet. Oh and le boyfriend helped me build a little grave for little Dolce. It was so sweet.
Hope your holiday season has been wonderful, and this weekend is white and jolly :) Now off to dreamland to wish for snow, Chanel, and a penthouse in the Upper East Side. Oh Gossip Girl how you fuel my fashion flame. <3
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Never-Ending Blog Post.
You know what drives me carazyyy? Incomplete endings. Example A: Gossip Girl. Its become my favorite pastime to divulge myself into this fabulous world that Netflix so generously offers in 4 seasons. Im on Season 3, yes ill say it now, i have too much free time. But in this show, it seems that there can never be a complete, or happy ending. There is always conflict between someone, scheming and severing relationships, and the constant outrageous drama that I've found myself addicted too. But there are other things that just dont ever end.. like this one series of books i read.
The author was Cassandra Clare, and it was called... The Mortal Instruments or something.. i honestly cant remember. But anyway, she wrote 3 books in this series, and i read them and enjoyed them immensely. The last book ended on a good page, with a solid, fulfilled and completed ending.. Then. She wrote another book, a fourth random one that prolonged and continued the story even more. I thought this was amazing, because the first three were so good. The two main characters still somehow couldn't end up together, happy. It was a horrible ending and furthermore just completely pissed me off and made me feel like no-one ever writes about happy people anymore. It became the book series that was never going to end for me, it was good where it stopped, but people got greedy and another one was written, making the first three feel like i had wasted my time even reading them, when the end result was a 'ail', with a capital F. God help us if Stephanie Meyer (A.k.A- i cant really write, but somehow i made billions of dollars off poorly structured sentences and strange knowledge of all things sparkly and evil.) writes a fifth Twilight, i might literally move to Sweden, where everything is legal, except Twilight Books. :)
But considering this isn't about Stephanie VampMeyer.
But ive just notived this recently.. that things today just are never-endingly unfinishable. I have no idea if that is really a word, but i just made it one, Stephanie would be so proud. That movies, books & tv shows are going to drag out forever until one day someone asks "Why is that show even on? Nobody watches it?" Like Grey's Anatomy.. I still dont understand how that is still making money...
But do you understand what im saying? I hate that feeling, probably like the feeling your getting now. Why am i reading this blog? It has no point... And she keeps going on about something but i can seem to find the actual point in it... But im still reading.. Oh look its ending. Well.. that was... un- fulfilling.
Im sorry if you feel that way now, maybe i can help. I'm going to list the things that drive me crazy by not ending... unless you have read or watched anything Ive mentioned above, you might not understand much of it. But hey, its a good time waster :)
&&& P.S: If you actually check this alot.. always check my Events! Section ^> Up and over there somewhere. But if your lazy.. this is what's coming up on my calender.. you should come with :)
The author was Cassandra Clare, and it was called... The Mortal Instruments or something.. i honestly cant remember. But anyway, she wrote 3 books in this series, and i read them and enjoyed them immensely. The last book ended on a good page, with a solid, fulfilled and completed ending.. Then. She wrote another book, a fourth random one that prolonged and continued the story even more. I thought this was amazing, because the first three were so good. The two main characters still somehow couldn't end up together, happy. It was a horrible ending and furthermore just completely pissed me off and made me feel like no-one ever writes about happy people anymore. It became the book series that was never going to end for me, it was good where it stopped, but people got greedy and another one was written, making the first three feel like i had wasted my time even reading them, when the end result was a 'ail', with a capital F. God help us if Stephanie Meyer (A.k.A- i cant really write, but somehow i made billions of dollars off poorly structured sentences and strange knowledge of all things sparkly and evil.) writes a fifth Twilight, i might literally move to Sweden, where everything is legal, except Twilight Books. :)
But considering this isn't about Stephanie VampMeyer.
But ive just notived this recently.. that things today just are never-endingly unfinishable. I have no idea if that is really a word, but i just made it one, Stephanie would be so proud. That movies, books & tv shows are going to drag out forever until one day someone asks "Why is that show even on? Nobody watches it?" Like Grey's Anatomy.. I still dont understand how that is still making money...
But do you understand what im saying? I hate that feeling, probably like the feeling your getting now. Why am i reading this blog? It has no point... And she keeps going on about something but i can seem to find the actual point in it... But im still reading.. Oh look its ending. Well.. that was... un- fulfilling.
Im sorry if you feel that way now, maybe i can help. I'm going to list the things that drive me crazy by not ending... unless you have read or watched anything Ive mentioned above, you might not understand much of it. But hey, its a good time waster :)
- Why couldnt Bella pick Jacob, clearly the logical choice.
- ^ That had nothing to do with this blog.
- Why cant Chuck just have one episode where someone isnt trying to ruin his life.
- Why must Serena sleep with EVERYONE?
- Why did no one tell Stephanie Meyer she couldnt write?
- Why did no one suggest she direct the first 3 twilight movies? The 4th was LEGIT.
- Ive wondered why Grey's Anatomy is still on.. they have killed off basically everyone on the show. Katherine Heigl was the best... But she had to get cancer. And George died. Boo.
- Will the show The Office ever actually end?
- Is it Snow White Month? They have like 3 movies coming out.
- I bought a tub of Cookie Dough Ice Cream, and some actual choc. chip cookie dough.. just in case the ice cream tasted bad. It was like 7$.. i was kinda upset about this price. Thats alot for dough.
- I just realized i dont really remember why i was started to blog? If you do.. leave me a comment.. i dont ever get any.. ever.
- Follow me on Tumblr. Wee hee!
- Im not tired.. and its 1:47am..
- Im torn between Gossip Girl, or Vampire Diaries.. they are each so.. stupid, yet addicting.
- I need a new phone, mine is about to implode.
- Skyrim.
- ^ Legit.
&&& P.S: If you actually check this alot.. always check my Events! Section ^> Up and over there somewhere. But if your lazy.. this is what's coming up on my calender.. you should come with :)
Friday, November 11, 2011
London Calling!
You ever have that moment in the car.. the shower..your bed or any random place when you sit back and wonder what your even doing? And you dont even know. Your thinking about where your life is.. and what you doing with it, and at the end of that extremely dramatic 2 minutes, you realize you have absolutely no idea what your doing. It is in those moments i want to do something spontaneous, dangerous or irresponsible. I thrive for those moments, because in that moment you feel more alive than ever, And dont pretend like this doesn't happen to you. That moment in the store when you have gotten everything you need, but you see that tub of ice cream, or that shirt and your have this moment where you stare at the item, and go over your choices, whether or not your going to get it, or keep moving on.
Some times you just shrug your shoulders, already talking yourself out of it, push the buggy on and switch your mind over to something else, passing the moment all together.
But you know.. its that one time that you do get it. You do drop that tub of ice cream on top of your slim fast's or grab that hott dress off the rack and hang those ugly khaki pants you need for work back on the rack. It's in those moments that you feel alive, confident and spontaneous. Some might be more calm than others..some might have you ending up with a tattoo, or bright orange hair. But you know you've done it before, and that after reading this, feel the need to go do something spontaneous and out of character.
I find that we need this in our lives, I need this in my life. Those thing's that make you feel alive, that make you feel inspired. Movie's, music, places, smells, certain taste's can make something inside you go "Yes!"
I find we are all craving something to make us feel alive, to remind us that there is something more than just what is in front of us, that there is an entire world waiting to be experienced.
I guess the bad thing, the scary thing about those moments is when you go back to how life is. How you actually live your life, and the moment passes. When those moments you had feel like i dream, they dont even feel like you. Apparently though, im one of few that have these feelings or experience these moment's. Apart of me wants routine, wants to be "normal" and have everything normal, and smooth, apart of me really does.
But then there is this side of me that doesn't. That is dying for something more out of my existence.
So today.. in being Saturday the 12th im going to do something spontaneous, irresponsible (to some people) and adventurous. Im going to Be Free.
& you will just have to wait and see what i do.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday the 12th, 3:05 pm:
Be Free Baby, Be Free.
Some times you just shrug your shoulders, already talking yourself out of it, push the buggy on and switch your mind over to something else, passing the moment all together.
But you know.. its that one time that you do get it. You do drop that tub of ice cream on top of your slim fast's or grab that hott dress off the rack and hang those ugly khaki pants you need for work back on the rack. It's in those moments that you feel alive, confident and spontaneous. Some might be more calm than others..some might have you ending up with a tattoo, or bright orange hair. But you know you've done it before, and that after reading this, feel the need to go do something spontaneous and out of character.
I find that we need this in our lives, I need this in my life. Those thing's that make you feel alive, that make you feel inspired. Movie's, music, places, smells, certain taste's can make something inside you go "Yes!"
I find we are all craving something to make us feel alive, to remind us that there is something more than just what is in front of us, that there is an entire world waiting to be experienced.
I guess the bad thing, the scary thing about those moments is when you go back to how life is. How you actually live your life, and the moment passes. When those moments you had feel like i dream, they dont even feel like you. Apparently though, im one of few that have these feelings or experience these moment's. Apart of me wants routine, wants to be "normal" and have everything normal, and smooth, apart of me really does.
But then there is this side of me that doesn't. That is dying for something more out of my existence.
So today.. in being Saturday the 12th im going to do something spontaneous, irresponsible (to some people) and adventurous. Im going to Be Free.
& you will just have to wait and see what i do.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Saturday the 12th, 3:05 pm:
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