Mice & Men

      It sucks when you watch people fall from greatness. Its a sad moment when they do, its something like when Lucifer fell from Heaven, something tragic, but you cant really feel bad for him, considering every action he took lead him to his demise.  Not at all referring anyone to Satan. That's horrible. But more the act he committed. To have everything, to be the favored one of The Almighty, and with one action, he threw it all away, and down, down he fell. And we all know the rest of the story. I can only imagine the great sadness that gripped God's heart, to watch a cherished angel of His fall. Now don't quote me, or try and strike up a theological debate with me. Because thats not what this is about. But think about the first paragraph, really try to think about all the emotions and the reality of what happened.
  Maybe then you'll catch a glimpse of the emotions im trying to portray. To watch someone fall from greatness, to feel a deep sadness for the person, but at the same time, never pitying them, because they chose to fall.

   Ive had a great many friends in my life, only a rare few have stayed in my life over the years and way that life is. And after years of watching friends fall, its not hard to wonder how any more your going to have to watch fall, and every attempt to catch them, or lend them a hand only makes them fall faster.
Ive watched friends throw themselves off the edge, for simple, stupid, temporary things. Passions that start off strong, but when it get hard they falter and lull into depressions. The need to be in the "moment", their own selfish desires, fame, relationships, or the need to find one.
And after years of watching friends fall, In still don't understand it. How they fail to see the greatness in themselves, and settle into pathetic people who grovel on the ground for temporary things and their needs and wants are constantly unsatisfied. People who are in horrible relationships with dooshbags and cheaters, liars, abusers and players. It breaks my heart.

  Sometimes i wonder if its something we fail to do. Something i failed to do. Should i have said more? Done more? Intervened more? Cared more? Believed in them longer?
So many questions that even to the people your asking them too have no answers.

This has been bothering me for a good while now, and sometimes you just need people to know, and relate. Because we've all been there, watching a friend fall from greatness, and unable to do anything about it.

Sometimes i just want to say things to them, like....
"Why do you let him run his mouth about everyone, including your friends? And sit back and say nothing."
"Why are you obsessed with soppy love movies and depressing heartbreak songs. He left because he didn't love you, and never will. Torturing yourself wont bring him back"
"Don't join a Women's Abuse group when he hits you, because you stayed with him after that first blow, even when you had a chance to dump him, but being alone is far worse than being abused."
"What's your boyfriends name? I can never remember because you have a different one every two weeks."
" He is stalking you? Well why did you sleep with him 4 times, the tell him never to talk to you?"
"You only do drugs some. Yeah that cool, but i remember when you told me you'd never do them because you were smarter than that..guess they really do kill brain cells that fast."




     You might think im being harsh, rude, and inappropriate, but when its your friends throwing their lives away, you'll have a different story to tell.

     Just honestly needed to get it off my chest.  I'm just tired of looking into peoples eyes and seeing a shadow of who they used to be, the greatness they had, the beauty of a life that was full, and happy. To be overshadowed by a love that will never bring them safety, comfort, or a sense of complete-ness. Looking and seeing that young girl who dreamed of prince charming, but settles for a theif.
I have no dictionary word for this post, because nothing can define losing a friend, or watching one slowly fall.